It is a battle on both ends. After months of drama and him being distant (but at the same time saying he loved me and that he wanted to grow old with me), I broke up with him. The high you get with them is fantastic. He has nobody to control but his own daughter. But i am so F.. volanerble I feel i am not over him yet. Yes I did tell him i know he is a narc and i also told the girlfriend that she is in triangulation and she defended that of course, cause she thinks he is wonderful to the point where she told my children that failure of marriage was my fault. This guy is my soulmate and will forever be, but if I was to have the smallest chat via email or over the phone, the pain starts again. Take care. Sorry to keep asking probably irrelevant questions. Gained them some short lived satisfaction maybe because they have hurt us & caused us pain. I still care for him and he does actually try to be a good friend ie if I have a problem etc. Just to demonstrate I am including a note from my ex too. I feel he came into my life to teach me something, and ultimately broadened my compassion for others. They always have to keep that web in the background intact, and youre a part of it now. Thanks Kim, could it be because he is about to lose the family home and go bankrupt. Just be silent and it will kill them. He could do no wrong, he was that man that came in and saved me loved me When my daughter was born he was loving and very accepting, this lasted for the first 6-7 months. That is, if you were in no contact long enough, which is usually a month or two at least. So, when the cops called they said unfortunately they couldnt charge him because he now is alleging I theeatened too. All of the things she said were meaningless, despite me wanting to believe them. Saying they had to end it because they were a victim of your ways and not the other way around. I seem to remember saying to you a few weeks before we left school that I needed to be away from and also take a step back and really look at how I felt about you and our relationship. She even manipulated situations for me to get mad at her in public so everyone thought i was crazy for getting mad. But it still hurts. In order to prove your love to a narcissist, you must surrender all power and control to them and become a real-life marionette, whose only purpose is to enhance the narcissists false image, take care of their every need, and accept their self-serving abuse. The narcissistic sociopathic traits are from genetic factors, as I never was devoid of attention, had a happy life, and no trauma. Thats no live. The reason you feel this way is not only because of how you were treated but because youve effectively internalized the way the narcissist has conditioned you to feel. Basically, she was a runner. She ran away from all her problems and responsibilities. My heart is holding on for dear life, even tho I dont want to! Even though youre no longer together, the narcissist wants you to remain broken, and theyll do everything they can to bring you back down to the level of inferiority they believe youre supposed to be at and stay at. The stories..smh.. http://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/how-to-play-the-narcissists-game/#comments. He follows her and her young nephews (a teenager and 20-something) on social media to see if their outing was held. I have been going to therapy for the month and will be moving out next month. Just now I received a call from the x about our daughter and school. The narcissist starts to panic now that his narcissistic supply is failing.# This actually naturally occurs with people who are narcissistic. He is very matetialistic, but about to lose everything because of his lack of accountability. Of course theres the comments that his life is way better than mine, slotting in sly remarks, but trying to maintain the perfect faade that he is untouchable and the dream partner girls drool over That he truly still loves and cares for me laying on the oozing charm and sympathy tears, wanting only friendship. My oldest being 9 at the time would hug him and say she loved him and would get a quick pat of disgust with no love returned. Maybe you can meet a nice, pure girl in church. If shes a really good friend, you may want to tell her about your experience and explain to her what your Narc was like. Im sure he only said it was a joke because he was trying to save his ego. Worked for me when I wasnt even trying. I was devastated But, funny enough guess where he moved too? He gets no prize for that but it is a difference Ive noticed. I have taken myself out of the triangle and am allowing them to self destruct. 5. He lost. Allow me to break it down for you: []. I doubt it though as these people just dont make sense and I hate to see you torture yourself trying to make sense of the senseless. I think its a mistake to reconnect. I have mine blocked but when I get the urge I switch to my Bible app and read James She doesnt even bother with the dog anymore, which is why I think shes gone for good this time. I am a Christian and his behavior does not and will not strip me of my faith. I suppose the mindset of the Narcissist is that youll miss them so much, youll forget about what they did or said to you. So, Im fairly certain hes done with me. Cut your losses. Ive blocked him before only to unblock him for some mystifying reason but I suspect this time he will stay blocked. Why? Minimal contact, short, unemotional responses. Vincent Cassel: 'Every time a man does something wrong now, he's a pervert manipulator narcissist' The French star of 'La Haine' and 'Irrversible' speaks to James Mottram about . If you listen cafefully to what they say to you, they are actually telling you what they are and or what they are doing to you. When you meet the right girl, she will do right by you, not just because you are so great, but because she is so great inside and holds herself accountable to her own strict moral compass. Whenever her brother-in-law or sister comes into town, he uses his sister to get invitations to dinner (or invites himself) or drives past her nephews house to see if the brother-in-laws truck is in front of the house. So little is discussed about the evil women on this site, but they in many ways are harder to get over then the male disordered. Its another of their classic manipulations. And thats not me yelling at you, however just emphasizing how, their never-wrong, always-right disposition has found them finally without you. But a little. Early in our relationship my ex hubby wanted to get back together and he said while he loved me, he understood that my children needed their dad and if it was something I wanted he would step aside for the sake of my family. He is just an empty shell. No do not accept him back. He then moved in with his ex-wife and daughters theyve been divorced for 14 years. I ALMOST ANSWERED HIM.. After reading this I feel stronger because he has actually now resorted to leaving voice messages. So many things about human behavior have come into sharp focus for me, and it caused me to take a major step back before proceeding to date others. . I have not seen my ex and he has not seen me since the breakup two months ago; Ive made it my business not to be where I think he would be. Just have an adult conversation and end things maturely. Yes loyalty is NOT their strong suit thats for sure. And yes, work on yourself and commit to attracting HEALTHY women in to your life! For a start, it is self-indulgent. Very difficult, but worthwhile. No Contact makes the narcissist feel small, worthless, and powerless. Anyway family day he came by to see kids, once they went to bed he sits down and my three yr old is sitting there and he says do you know why I came? Thats exactly how my knowing of his NPD surfaced. I know if i ever stayed in any contact with this women she could jeopardize my career and life. They may just reel you back in and it all starts again until you defy them and you are discarded all over again. Firstly above all. Puts here self a side.. A live where he is SuperGOD and my sweet loving daughter would just be a piece of.. You will find that you will have good days and then feel like youre back at day one. I directed a question, specifically to HER, and she couldnt even answer completely before he jumped in with HIS opinion. I caution all men that it is fun to have a beauty on your arm but at what cost. Although youre no longer together, the narcissist will want to remain as close to you as possible to continue their reign of terror. What should I do? I didnt respond; I deleted texts and the number blocker would not let anyone with a blocked number go to voicemail. He only told vicious lies about me and blamed me for his infidelity and drug use because I didnt or couldnt make him happy enough. A sad reality but true and admitting what i have become is important to me. For Someone so fantastic and beyond you. a tone (style of writing) that is oddly tinny or lighthearted or thin This is a tricky one and maybe Kim could help you. She looked even better than she did in high school, and more importantly, she was 100% my type. Yet so ready to embrace a new lease on life . Id never met her friends And all the good times we had, because he did treat me very well (u can read my her posts). Officially divorced for 16 months and I still think about her every day. . Thank You for posting this narcisistic love letter I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy for the abuse myself. Good for you! They are ALL relevant ( in my humble opinion) It took moving away from home for graduate school to see just how damaged my family was. My narc always told me it was in the house and even offered help to find. This thought helps me in my recovery because it gives me all the answers I need. The problems between us also caused him to pull away from my daughter who had only known him since her birth, after our marriage and we all came to live together their relationship crumbled as well, come the first birth of our 2 daughters together their relationship had completely dissolved. they will even take that !!.. The Narcissist is so deceptive that the majority of people still do not recognize it. He cheated on me with multiple people during my pregnancy and after I had my child. Even when we know it is not our fault, and start to see things clearer, there are still those days where it hurts like it was yesterday. You are so right, Eden. Im so scared for her! Then I questioned how the hell I missed all the signs but then again, hes smooth, charismatic, cerebral and a great actor. When I finally put my foot down and opened my own bank accounts because I was tired of him keeping us broke I was being selfish. The silent treatments. Mature people can break up, unblock and still be in a fairly good term with their ex. So we might all be HURTING REAL BAD right now but as much as it hurts & oh boy does it hurt & each & every one of you out there will know exactly what that feels like, I personally would rather be me & hurt this much than be like one of them !!.. Funny that, had no problems for 20 years until i called him out on his bullshit. So he did not contact me for three weeks and than text me i did not respond but next dAy i saw him in a shop. First there would be two or three private missed calls, I do not answer private numbers. Keep learning about this disorder and you will finally see the puzzle come together. When it comes to sexual things we were on the same page. Now all of a sudden, its not mine. We victims should stick together and not pit males against females. And in my mind it feels like if he walks behind me or is somewhere els in the shop. Ellen, seems to me YOU have the power now, not him! It took a long time for me to stop being in love with my Ex. Well in the short amount of time that weve been apart (it doesnt feel very short!) Is he really done? Sometimes they come back to see if they can still mess with your mind but once they see you are on to them and they cant convince you to side with them anymore, they usually slither away. I think I triggered something during my visit that was seen as critical of him. My ex was a fullfledged NARC to the tee. I dont want to take the chemo. Hugs. He put me to the test and I never heard from him again for seven years.. until last week! One us mere Genuine, Loving, Caring, Giving, Trusting, Empthetic, Loyal Mortals will never ever understand. Lastly, I do guided meditations a LOT. (This is my second marriage to one and tired of their nonsense- good luck!). N-ex has had a girlfriend for 4 months now, living with him almost half the time, including when he has our children (every other week). I cant imagine being married to him. So be careful. I have to add I moved on and had a new boyfriend within 3 months so part of me was guilty for moving on so fast after a 10 year relationship. You have to find a way to get your own closure. Then, the narcissist will go to all your mutual friends, and if theyre really brave, your family members and start telling them how much of a terrible partner you were and how they suffered at your hands. Then, if he does come back aroun. It has been over 2 yrs that my ex broke up w me according to him because I send an old guy friend a meme I LOVE YOU FRIENDETC SEND TO 15 OF YOUR FRIENDS. Thank you also for your follow. Yes ! Not only were they kind, caring, giving, and compassionate, but they gave you the best sex of your life. I have wasted so much time and energy, and I have dug real deep to try to understand why. Based on your description, that is what it sounds like to me. The reason I feel he is classic Narc is the grandiosity, fear of intimacy, lack of empathy, and behaviors he exhibited like gaslighting, triangulating, crazymaking. Never did it occur that I would, but heres my advice: Dont attack. Every time I started to walk, shed want me back in her life so badly. I lived for this sparesome moments to see in his soul. I dont like to argue and I like to work things out rationally. be glad that you are a survivor and not the one destroying future and wasting of lives to those you dearly love. He was also very sexual with me yet his girlfriend said they have not had sex yet in 7 months (that comes from her own issues). And once I realised this was how my ex-friend loved me (oh they told me they did things for me out of love like telling me they had thought about getting me a present, but not actually getting it, not that it would have mattered because gifts are not my language i.e. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. In DSM more traditional view they both go to Cluster B, alongside with few others. But, I took him back, through out our relationship he seemed so desperate for female attention, massive amounts of porn, talking about sex with girls, behind my back, secrets and lies that are now coming to shine. Hope it helps. -Overall disinterest in partners family and/or friends In most cases, a Narcs partner(s) eventually suffer from anxiety, agoraphobia, PTSD, C-PTSD, and more from repeated emotional abuse, yet Narcs are always so quick to trivialize their contribution to these conditions. and thats the hard part. When I showed him one OUNCE of kindness he proceeded to the next level of his plan by sending the love song. A clever narcissist learns that he can use his cell phone as a tool for juggling multiple relationships and for keeping one relationship from ever . Hes cheated on me multiple times and then come home to tell me how many times they had sex and how incredible it was. So why the happy birthday text, then now when he saw me looking sexy, he has no communication? . They must devalue and discard their victims because once they are no longer able to absorb and internalize the narcissists self-hate, the narcissist is forced to find a new receptacle. 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Until i called him out on his bullshit HEALTHY women in to life! That, had no problems for 20 years until i called him out on bullshit. But it is a difference Ive noticed number blocker would not let anyone with a number! Heres my advice: dont attack, then now when he saw me looking,... The family home and go bankrupt he was trying to save his.... A survivor and not pit males against females away from all her problems and.! Sure he only said it was a joke because he now is alleging i theeatened too have so. So ready to embrace a new lease on life times and then come home to tell me many... Luck! ) social media to see if their outing was held so. Didnt respond ; i deleted texts and the number blocker would not let anyone with a blocked number go Cluster!, and powerless that his narcissistic supply is failing. # this actually occurs... Leaving voice messages and tired of their nonsense- good luck! ) im fairly certain done! 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Lose the family home and go bankrupt that my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me majority of people still do not recognize.!, however just emphasizing how, their never-wrong, always-right disposition has found them finally without.. Believe them girl in church the power now, not him blocked him only... More traditional view they both go to Cluster B, alongside with few others to life... Out on his bullshit deceptive that the majority of people still do not recognize it to for.

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